badlands: Canada's Next Top Model

Come on: who doesn't love the show that may as well be titled Canada's Next Girl who Would Probably Not be Signed by an Agency but whose Diamond in the Rough Qualities Have Been Noted and Dramatized Courtesy of Jay Manuel for our Viewing Entertainment?

I sure do!

Now, while Canada exports a proportionately large number of genuine grade-A supermodels (Daria Werbowy, arguably the top model in the world right now, among them!), I doubt these girls are going to get signed by Elite and go walk the Paris runways post-show. Also, looking at the ridiculously beautiful CNTM judge and real model Yasmine Warsame alongside the competitors is a wee bit depressing. If she were in the competition she'd kick their asses. But that said, it's fun to speculate about who might (perhaps, sort of, maybe) have a chance at real-world success out of the bunch. Here's my Rankings of the Moment:



1. Rebecca
I love her striking and highly unusual face and her sense of style. I hated her idotic makeover. The cut was all right, but the colour was ridiculous. I preferred her with her Irina Lazareanu lookalike hair. While the judges still seem to subscribe to the "distinctive and edgy look" theory of model styling, I think the "neutral palette with a striking face" theory is generally used for actual models, which limits dye jobs to colours within a natural human range.

What if the designer wants a natural, fresh look for their collection? Are they going to cast crazy fire-hair, whose look is not easy to adapt to this style? Conversely, if the style for the show is wild with crazy hair colours, it's easy to slap a bright wig on the models so they look consistent. It's not easy to fake "natural." I think even a more orange, natural-redhead shade would be preferable to the one they chose. CNTM is hardly an indictor of the real-world modeling business, but regardless, this choice was stupid and not overly flattering.

I think Rebecca is going to be a top 3 contestent, but if she isn't, I hope she runs directly from the show to the nearest hair salon, restores her hair to brown, and takes herself to an agency whose employees do not watch CNTM. Good luck to her!



2. Tara

Tara is quickly getting the bitch-edit and has also suffered an unfortunate makeover - somehow all that long, straight hair looks just wrong on her. I preferred the afro (which could have been straightened for shoots when necessary). But she has a good face, gorgeous skin, modelesque body, photographs well, and is confident. Also, she's more exotic than most of the predominantly white crowd which should work to her advantage. I call her for top 3.



3. Tia

This is not an entirely logical choice given the show's editing (and as I link this photo I am hating the red clown-lips they gave her for this shoot), but from my first preview of the contestants I've thought she had the most unusual face of the bunch. Alien-face girl (which is intended endearingly; come on; some of the best models look alienesque, or, for that matter, like fourteen year old boys) has proven to have a sweet disposition and take a good shot. She is also the contestant who has me the most plagued with worry for the inevitable clash between "judges who worry her hips are too wide" (which I don't really see, like, at all, even by modeling standards. She's pretty waifish in my opinion) and "happy go lucky girl who just wants to eat three pudding cups and also be a model." Girl, I'm on your side, and not just because it's the side with the pudding cups. You show 'em. I just hope you are tall enough.



4. Sinead

Sinead is the most naturally gorgeous girl of them all and benefited greatly from her Natalie Portman by way of Sinead O'Connor restyling. She seems smart, articulate, and saintly: witness the Passion of Sinead where poor Sinead is sticken by a fainting spell (and, to her credit, recovers with quiet grace and doesn't cop out of the rest of the judging session), and miraculously does not come off as greedy in the least after her hard-won $5000 shopping spree at Holt! And she takes a stunning, magazine-worthy beauty shot. The only question is whether she will rest on her beauty and great personality or progress and take risks with her photos. If she doesn't become a model she'd make a lovely actress.



5. Cori

I like Cori more than I thought I would from the previews I saw, she has a runway-type body, and she's quite a photogenic girl. However, she looks like she's more suited to advertising skin products for Biore than high fashion. Nothing wrong with that, though! We'll see if she can discover some edge and come into herself a bit more.



6. Jacqueline

She's already out, so this is moot point. I had a soft spot for the Vancouver curly-head and thought her face was stunning, but her physique didn't look like a contemporary fashion model's. And there was nothing she could have done about it either - contrary to the judges' "politically correct" comment that she should "tone up", there was nothing un-toned about her physique at all. Unfortunately, models who are less than waifish won't get hired until governments pass some mandatory BMI or health-tests governing the industry. I hope she pursues some sort of modeling career. Her face alone should have carried her through a few more rounds.



7. Mo

I quite like Mo's face and her accent is totally charming. But she absolutely needs to find a better angle for her shots than the hideous upwards perspective they have been using, which makes her chin look huge, and her wide-set eyes bug-like. She's prettier than that.



8. Gina

We are past the era of the Cheryl Tiegs all-American girl-next door model, and therefore Gina is way too sports model/girl from the mall for my taste. However, she's really statuesque and her new brown hair colour works wonders for her. Contrary to the judges' hate-fest over her photo, I loved her calamari beauty shot, because she managed to NOT look like the conventional beauty she is.



9. Steff

However great a sense of style she may have, I just don't think her face looks like a model's. This week she has to find a way to make the camera love her or it's over.